Bulma's Mail Trip
by ilovetwizzlers
Summary: Bulma has a rather interesting encounter with her neighbor while trying to get her mail.
1. Chapter 1

I don't own DBZ.

Bulma stared at the mailbox through her window from within her warm, dry, comfortable home. She glared at every snowflake that made its way to the window pane, and shivered involuntarily as the wind shook one of the bare trees outside. Kami, she hated winter. From the below freezing temperatures to the stupid Christmas music that always seemed to come out a month earlier every year. Bulma's mission for today: Get the mail... as fast as you can. On any other day she wouldn't give two shits about the mail. Nothing important ever comes for her, and if by some miracle something did then her mother would be more than happy to go fetch it for her. Not today, her parents were gone, and no she doesn't have a mail robot getter thing to do it for her either. She wasn't _that_ lazy, but she's lazy enough not to change out of her shorts.

_What? It's my house, I can wear what I want._

After pulling on a hoodie and some boots, Bulma decided that now was as good a time as any. Flinging open the door, she bolted down the walkway, dodging various snowdrifts and patches of ice before reaching her goal. Or so she thought...

"Hiya Bulma!"

"Gwahhh!" Nearly pissing herself with fright, she lost her footing, slipped on some evil ice, and landed ass first on the cold hard ground. "Ughhh, I knew wearing the shorts were gonna come back, and bite me in the ass." She hissed.

"Golly, that was quite a fall. You sure you're alright?" Eddy, also known as the idiot from across the street, apparently has never fallen on his ass in his entire life.

For as long as Bulma has lived in C.C., Eddy has been there to happily wave at her from across the street, send her thoughtful cards for every holiday, congratulate her on every accomplishment she has made known to the public, and to drive her absolutely insane. He really isn't a threat, with his thick-rimmed glasses, his slurred speech, or his increasingly disgusting unwashed hair. She always returns his waves with the one finger salute, sends his cards back shredded, and gladly tells him to fuck off whenever he tries to make conversation. Why he thinks this time is any different, she'll never understand.

"Go away, creepo. I'm on a mission." Heaving herself up onto her feet, she successfully fell, yet again, on her bum.

Eddy chuckled (er, snorted?) causing bits of spit to fly out of his mouth and onto any poor soul nearby. Immediately, Bulma flung her arms up to shield her face. "You're funny, Bulma. So what kind of mission are you partaking in?"

While passing him a pair of eyes that would more than likely cause even Satan himself to faint, she chose to ignore him while she slowly crawled to the mailbox. Upon reaching the metal post, she began the long climb up to the treasure that currently recedes in the box on top.

"Are you looking for these?" He held up a handful of bills, letters, magazines, etc.

Bulma's eyes bugged out and she shouted, "What are you doing with my mail, you fucktard?! Don't you know that's against the law? I should sue your ass for all you're worth!" She jumped up and snatched her mail from his grimy hands so fast even Vegeta would be proud of her short moment of speediness.

Eddy unfortunately didn't have time to comment, Bulma marched straight back to her warm, cozy house cursing the entire way about greasy haired morons.

Slamming the door, Bulma looked through the mail on her way to the kitchen, tossing the junk mail over her head in a hurry.

"Junk, junk, junk, ew Playboy, junk, junk...AH HA!"

While making her entrance known, Vegeta glanced at her over the refrigerator door, "What? Did you find something shiny in the mail again?" His face dead serious.

Bulma waved her hand, "No, of course not, if I had found something shiny I would be a lot more excited." She rolled her eyes. "I finally got the letter my sister told me about in the voice mail she left."

Vegeta took a bite out of an apple, made a nasty face, then put it back. "So now I have the misfortune of knowing that there's other Bulma look-a-likes running around."

Bulma smacked her lips, "Oh, you make it sound like such a bad thing." She took a seat at the kitchen table, quickly opening the envelope, "And get rid of that apple if you don't want it!"

Looking over his shoulder, he noticed she had her eyes glued to the letter. Leaving the apple, but taking just about everything else, he made his way to the table. He dumped his armfuls of food in front of him, not leaving one spot on the table uncovered. As he ate, he watched Bulma's reaction to the letter for entertainment.

So far so good, nothing overly dramatic happening so far. Oh,wait. Uh oh.

The letter suddenly started to shake in Bulma's grip. "T-This can't be true." She gasped.

Vegeta halted his meal for a couple of seconds to catch the whole scene in front of him. He's been living with Bulma for almost a year now, and he has never seen her get this upset. Pissed off upset, yes. Not sad upset, though. After glaring at her for a few moments, he decided enough was enough. He scoffed, "If you're going to explode into a blubbering mess, do it away from my fo-"

"I have a right to be upset, you ungrateful jerk! Kami, you are so selfish! This is my house, I'll blubber all over your food as much as I want! Take it to your room or to the GR or-"

"WILL YOU SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH?!"

"NO, I WILL NOT SHUT MY _FUCKING_ MOUTH! For Kami's sake, I wasn't even gonna cry, you big baby! Maybe you should ask before you assume!" She leaped out of her seat, knocking over her chair in the process, turned around and stomped out of the room.

Smirking to himself for a job well done, Vegeta continued to eat his meal in peace. That was until Bulma stormed back in, around the table, flung open the fridge, and grabbed the half-eaten apple with vengeance.

"ARRRGH!" She chucked the apple right at his overly conceited head...and missed. Obviously, Vegeta caught it, pissing Bulma off even more. He innocently asked, "Was this supposed to hit me?"

The entire neighborhood heard what Bulma had to say.


	2. Chapter 2

"_Hey! _Hey! HEY!" Stop hoggin' the bathroom, you knucklehead!"

Bulma has given up being nice to the Prince of All Assholes a long time ago. He's such a prick. She hated how cocky he was. Walkin' around like he owned the place. _HAH! If he wants to pay the electric bill, then go ahead, be my guest. _He treats everyone and everything like dirt, and spits out demands left and right. Which is quite annoying, considering the fact that Bulma had better things to do then fix the GR every other day. All she wants from him is to show her and her parents some respect for letting him live here. Would that be so hard?

BANG, BANG, BANG!

"What the hell is taking so long? What'd you do, fall in?" She banged her fist on the door again for good measure.

She heard a distinct growl coming from within the bathroom, "You do realize that you have other bathrooms in this building, or are you truly that stupid?"

"ARGH! Of course, I know you dumbfuck I've lived here my whole life! But unfortunately, not _all _of them have tampons in stock!" Growling with frustration, she lifted her fist up, about to release her anger on the poor door. When the door suddenly opened with a soft _swish _to reveal a very wet and irritated Vegeta.

Staring down at her, he readjusted the towel around his waist.

He really wasn't much taller than her. Maybe an inch or two, and that was pushing it. Not like he wasn't going to point that out of course. Looking her over, he immediately noticed her change of hairstyle. Instead of that repulsive curly fro, she had it completely straightened having it end around her mid-back. _Hm, slightly less disgusting. _The corner of his mouth twitched into a smirk, as he watched her face turn from surprised to pissed off.

Shifting herself so that her weight was on one foot, she crossed her arms in front of her chest, and started tapping the ground with her other foot. "Well... ?" She hissed. "Are you gonna move or what?"

His smirk grew as he slowly let himself lean against the door frame. "Or what, sounds like a better option."

Rolling her eyes, she pushed past Vegeta, making sure to hit his shoulder along the way. Even if in the long run it would hurt her a hell of lot more than him. She didn't care; she wanted to make a point! She flung open the cabinet under the sink, grabbed the box she wanted, and made a big huff while stomping out past Vegeta and down the hall. She heard him mumble something along the lines of "_pathetic earth woman,"_ and decided that giving him the one finger salute would do the trick.

This is pretty much how the two communicate. There was no talking, or conversation. That must be a foreign word that Saiyans have no idea about. Yelling, now that's something they understand. Oh, and arguing, they love to argue. Not a day goes by without one insulting the other. It's an endless verbal battle.

–-

Yet again, Vegeta has some how broken the GR. It never fails. _He justs likes to see me suffer,_ she decided.

Decked out in her cover-alls and work boots, Bulma was not liking the heat down in the lower levels of this thing. Wiping the sweat off her forehead with the back of her hand, she grabbed a wrench from her tool bag, and continued her work. Not noticing the shadow lurking close by...

Vegeta took another bite of his apple (Before you ask... NO, this isn't the same apple that Bulma tried and failed miserably to pelt him with earlier.), as he watched the woman toss the wrench aside before unzipping her work suit and tying the sleeves around her waist. Leaving her upper half naked except for a bright green sports bra. Unfazed, he continued to stare as she began to search for a different tool.

Munch, munch. _Could she work any slower?_

Despite his constant string of insults at her intelligence, he had to admit he was impressed by her genius. He didn't know very many humans, most that he did know were imbeciles, but from all the talk he has heard the woman was indeed very smart for her race.

Forgetting _that_ and switching to something much more important he began to ponder about his training. Vegeta knew that he would soon have to continue his training in space. He planned on telling the woman and old man about his request soon. He wanted a new gravity machine, but one that he could take with him into space. One that could withstand his powers as he continued his training to become a super saiyan.

Swallowing the rest of the apple whole, he continued observing the scene in front of him in complete silence.

Bulma cursed, as sweat started to trickle down her back. It tickled, and she fidgeted as she tried to rid the feeling. Pulling her long hair up into a ponytail she sighed, "Gheez, it's hotter than a mug in here."

Flinching, she turned when she heard a familiar chuckle, "So now you're comparing heat to a drinking cup? And just when I thought you couldn't get any more stupid." With his trademark smirk, Vegeta walked over to her until they were shoulder to shoulder. His nose twitching when he picked up the scent of her spearmint gum.

Rolling her eyes she said, "Mug: slang term for motherfucker." Turning to face him, she put on a sickeningly sweet smile, "I've said it once, and I'll say it again. Ask before you assume."

Glaring at her because he suddenly ran out of come-backs, he decided to change the subject to something more interesting. "What exactly was in that letter from earlier today?"

Suddenly quiet, Bulma went back to searching through her toolbox. Innocently mumbling, "Oh nothing, nothing."

Crossing his arms over his chest, "So you have meltdowns for all the letters you decide to read-"

"I DID NOT HAVE A MELTDOWN!"

"Then what was it?"

"... NOT A MELTDOWN!"

"Really? I would've never guessed."

Standing up nervously, she started to push a few stray bolts around with the toe of her boot. "It was just surprising, that's all."

Rolling his eyes, he tried to hide his smirk as he walked towards to door, "I see the problem. You're obviously just pathetic at controlling your emotions."

Stomping her foot, she almost growled, "It's perfectly normal for humans to be emotional! Ugh, why do you always seem to have a stick up your ass?"

Vegeta was about to cross the threshold of the GR's door, but stopped to say, "Funny, I was going to ask you the same thing..."

Furious, Bulma picked up her entire tool bag and chucked wrenches, hammers, screwdrivers, and anything else she could get her hands on in his general direction. It was a lost cause though because he had already shut the door before she even grabbed the bag.

Glaring at the door, she tossed the rest of the tools back to the floor carelessly. Then she hmph-ed before plopping her ass down right next to where she had been working before Veggie-poo decided to grace her with his presence.

She needed to get back at him for all the shit that he's pulled. It just boils her blood that he thinks he can just walk all over her like that. Always pushing her buttons... the bastard.

Suddenly she had an idea.

He loved the GR, right?

He would be upset if someone say... did some unwanted and unneeded "improvements" right?

Plus she built the damn thing, she could paint the whole thing pink, and he couldn't do a damn thing about it. She chuckled to herself. Cute idea, but not evil enough. He needs to get a taste of his own medicine.

Jumping up like her ass caught on fire, she hurried over to main system to install passwords for absolutely everything. Opening the door, raising the gravity, turning on the cappuccino maker... _Does he even use that?_

He would have to come to her find out what they were, and he would have no idea how to change the setting. Hehehe, evil plan. EVIL. She was sure Vegeta will love saying, "Bulma makes my world go round," every time he wants to simply enter the GR.


End file.
